Saturday, July 5, 2008

You're kidding me! I'm old?

"Blessed are those whose strength is in You, who have set their hearts on pilgrimage."
Psalm 84:5

I hope that you had a great 4th of July. I had a very eye opening weekend!

Just earlier this week I was telling Russ how I feel just like the young Moms at our church. The ones who have only be married a short while and have just had their first child --- I still feel just like one of them! I actually think of myself as their "peer".

Well, this weekend I was enjoying the 4th of July sales at the Disney Store and had found some steals for my kids ($2.99 t-shirts!!) As the young girl behind the counter rang up my items, she said the strangest thing to me. Very politely she commented, "Oh, you must be buying for your grand kids." Completely stunned - I started thinking ...... what about me looks grandmotherish today? Is it my new highlights --- they are very blond, maybe they are so blond, she thinks they are white! I know I've been using my moisturizer ..... my wrinkles can't be that deep, can they??!! I couldn't think on my feet - how in the world do you respond to something like this??? So, I said, "No, these are for my children. My oldest is only 8." Then, I thought .... OK Ginger, that was great! Make the young girl feel as terrible as possible. The entire scene was very uncomfortable and a complete nightmare! She tried to quickly recover and reply, "Oh, well, my mom never really bought us stuff - our grandmother always did, so I just thought since you had a lot of stuff it was for your grandchildren." Bless her heart, that was not a good save.

So, I walked away - with reality hitting me in the face. Nope, I'm obviously not peers with the young girls at church after all.

Recently in a Bible Study we were asked to write down the number of years that we had been on a pilgrimage with God. Meaning, at what age did you accept Christ and start your journey with Him. I have very clear memories of my decision at age 9. Actually, my Spiritual Birthday is just a few days away. But, I have never thought about how many years I've been a Christian before. I was surprised to learn that I had been on my pilgrimage with God for 25 years! YIKES! That's a long time --- that's actually how old I feel (or felt before my bubble burst at the Disney Store!) Now some of you might be laughing at me because your Spiritual pilgrimage already doubles mine in years (and here I am kinda complaining of "age"). And, I just want you to know that in so many ways --- I can't wait to be you! What wisdom and stories you have to share about our Lord Jesus Christ:) And now that I'm aware of this concept of being on a pilgrimage --- I'm going to keep my eyes peeled for where this journey leads for the next 80 years!

So, these events really got me thinking ..... how have I grown? what experiences has He used to shape me over these 25 years? how often have I been obedient? how often have I heard His voice on this pilgrimage? how much longer will my journey continue?

I wish that years ago I had understood this concept. It makes so much sense now! I've always wanted to "run with perseverance the race marked out" for me - Heb. 12:1 And, fix my eyes on the prize, our Lord Jesus - Heb. 12:2. And, finish the race well. BUT, all this time - I've been missing the process, the pilgrimage! Where I am now --- I'm not staying! Whatever problem, crisis or even sorrow that I am experiencing today is preparing me to finish the race well.

Psalm 84:5, "Blessed are those whose strength is in You, whose heart is set on pilgrimage." I want my heart to be set on pilgrimage. I don't want to wallow in what's taking place today. Yes, I need to address today - I can't ignore today, with His strength I can face it - whatever "it" is! BUT, the great news is that I have the promise of today leading me towards the next level in my relationship with Christ. Oh Lord, please help me not to be so focused on "finishing well" that I miss all the details in between that are so important to the process of how I get to the end!!

So, here I am. 34ish with a wonderful husband and three great kids. I still can't deny that I feel only 25:) But I'm looking forward to this journey. When I think about how my love for the Lord has truly grown in recent years - I get goose bumps to think about loving Him even more! Knowing Him even more! Remembering in the hard times - that I'm only passing through and in all things - He will be glorified.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

And to have this happen so close to your birthday *lol*

Happy Birthday,Friend! Remember - you're only as old as the music you listen to!! Hugs