Perfectionism

“God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it.” Ephesians 2:8-9

Well gang! It's been a long time, huh? Thanks for you "faithfuls" who have patiently awaited my return:) But, during this time away - I have learned something about myself that I want to talk about today.

I spoke at a church back before Christmas about Perfectionism. I had never given it much thought - but, because my house is NOT spotless, I'm terribly unorganized and given the fact that I am confident that I WILL be late for my own funeral --- I never thought that I was a perfectionist.

It was during this time of study that I learned a new term: Selective Perfectionism. That means that we pretty much pick and choose, we select, the areas where we are a perfectionist. We may not live at the gym and drink Soy milk, but our house is obsessively spotless. We might spend an outrageous amount on dressing ourselves and our children but we can never found our car keys (no matter how many cute baskets we purchase to hold them in!).

I also discovered that perfectionist are always thinking how nothing is as good as it could have been. We think back on what wasn’t good enough and tend to see only how things are wrong and forget what is right. It’s very tempting for a perfectionist to lay in bed at night and think about what they didn’t get done --- instead of what they did accomplish.

Not very far into my message that I was preparing to share with others --- I realized that perfectionism had a hold on my own life. My areas of weakness are the appearance of my family and myself and this blog! Hang on, and let me explain.

It is my belief that my girls should ALWAYS have a hair bow. At 7AM on Christmas morning I'm sticking a hair bow in the girls hair before one picture can be taken! My kids should also ALWAYS match while on vacation. When I speak - I always have a suit jacket with matching accessories (thanks for the grace Knoxville when I couldn't find my earrings!!). Birthday parties are ALWAYS to be extravagant adventures for children and the very reason that Party City loves me!!!

I've read that “Perfectionist take great pains and give them to others.” That perfectly describes me in the above scenarios:( Would Christmas really never be the same if I didn't cram in a hair bow? Do other vacationers in Disney really stop to look at my well dressed kids? Of course not!! And, guess what -- the ladies in Knoxville didn't pass out because I couldn't find my earrings.

You see, there is obviously nothing wrong with wanting my girls to wear a hair bow. However, there is something wrong when “it” – your particular area of perfectionism ---- when you feel that “it” defines your worth. When the way my kids look suddenly defines the way that I find value as a person ---- then, we have a problem!

I've also learned that perfectionism can cause you to have a type of paralysis. For example – if I can’t do the perfect dinner party, why have anyone over at all. If the house will get wreck in 10 minutes – why pick up a thing. If my medication says, causes weight gain then why exercise? We can develop the attitude of, “If it can’t be perfect – then I just won’t do it.” This is where I have been with my blog.

I LOVE to write. I LOVE to share what God is doing in the small things in my life --- but I was getting so stressed out because I didn't feel that it could be "perfect" - so I just stopped. I didn't like my old design - it wasn't "me", then I wouldn't have time to really say what I wanted to say.... and the excuses would just keep coming.

Do you see yourself in any of the areas above? Are you over-doing it in some (like me with the kids) and under-doing in others (like me with my blog)?

The above scripture says that we can not earn our salvation. God knows that we are not perfect, so He offers it to us as a gift. So, let's stop trying to pretend like we are perfect! We do not have to earn our worth in Christ.

Let's take some baby steps together. My Son's birthday party is Monday night and it is killing me NOT to get him a new birthday shirt. The truth is - the little rascal has hardly grown since last year and if it is that important to me that he have on a shirt declaring it's his birthday --- then he can wear the old one!! See, silly to most - but baby steps for me! And, how about with my blog. Instead of feeling pressure to write a novel every day of the week --- how about being more realistic with just one or two posts a week.

Let me know how it's going for your! And, of course --- since I've spilled the beans on my personal life - I have ALL of you to keep me accountable.